When I was growing up in the 1950s, alcohol was rare in our house. It was reserved for Christmas time only. It was a big thing as just before the festivities, we bought in a bottle of sherry, a bottle of port, a few bottles of Babycham and a bottle of Advocat (or some might know it more as eggnog). It was eked out over Christmas and New Year and shared with visiting grandparents or friends. When it was gone in early January, that was it until the next Christmas. I used to get excited if, as a teenager, my parents offered me a Babycham (so elegant) or a Snowball (a mix of Advocat with Lemonade and, if reckless, a dash of lime). My parents were not exactly well-off post-war and money was hard-earned, so they were not going to squander it on non-essentials. Most families I knew were the same. Drunks on the street were rare and I personally had never known an alcoholic
At university, I occasionally used to go to the pub or university union bar, but it was a rare treat. Some (the rugby players, I recall) used to get legless in the bar, but they were a rare breed. It was expected of rugby players. Most of my circle of friends could not afford it. Our money went on books and food with little left for anything else. With our meager maintenance grants we could afford food or alcohol but not both.
When in the Seventies I lived in Germany as a young twenty-something, the German attitude to alcohol was different. For a start they were a major wine-growing country and produced excellent beer too. Most people had a crate of beer or plentiful bottles of wine in their cellar and would readily offer it to guests, something we Brits took a while to get used to.
Fast forward to today and our culture has changed. The first major difference is that alcohol is more readily available. Before it could only be bought from pubs or off-licences (special shops that only sold alcohol). Both were only allowed to be open at set times. Pub closing time was 11pm and, unless I am wrong, off-licences were only open in the evening between about 6pm and 11pm. Today of course alcohol is available 24 hours round the clock from supermarkets, petrol stations or corner shops, as well as specialist alcohol shops and online delivery services. Pubs and clubs stay open to the wee small hours or even longer.
Another change is the mindset that you cannot enjoy yourself unless alcohol is involved. The binge-drinking teenagers or city workers who think being unconscious is a great way to enjoy the weekend spring to mind. Young people now (both of school age and at university) obviously cannot afford to pay a lot, so buy cheaply from a supermarket to have "pre-drinks" at home with their friends before then going out completely inebriated to pay expensively for a few in a club or bar setting. Legless individuals are a common sight.
Then there is a group of people who don't think they are alcoholic. The recent article about Linda Robson bears this out. They think one glass of wine every day won't hurt. They might have two - one while they are cooking and one with the meal. But this can escalate until it is the norm. A single mother I knew at my daughter's school once told me she could not wait for 6pm to come round because it meant she could open a bottle of wine without feeling bad. Sometimes she found it really hard to wait till 6pm and would always drink the whole bottle that evening as she found it distasteful to leave any left over in the bottle to the next day. I know quite a few people who think nothing of consuming a whole bottle of wine on their own a day. Yet they don't think they have a problem. What is more surprising is that that mum struggled to make ends meet, yet could find the money to spend on wine. If alcohol is the answer, then, believe me, you have a problem.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not a killjoy and I enjoy a glass of alcohol like the next person, but I know my limits. I know the safe amount to drink to preserve my dignity and keep my wits about me, whilst allowing me to relax in convivial company. I don't get the need to drink myself senseless or forget my problems. Those problems are going to be there the next morning and probably with a hangover to add to the list. Also I don't feel compelled to have a drink every day or even every week. I can get through several months without a single drop and then maybe have several glasses in a week, but by and large I can take it or leave it and mostly leave it. I reserve it as something really special to do as a treat -for drinking within limits with friends in a cosy convivial atmosphere. Anyway, living on my own for most of the time, as I have been since Greg died, I consider drinking on my own would definitely be a slippery slope to avoid. I suppose too, having seen the devastating affects of alcohol first hand and what it does to you with Greg's alcoholism and death, I am not keen to go down that route myself. Everything in moderation - not to excess and not to exclusion.
What do you think?
4 comments:
Addy, being raised by an alcoholic father, I have a skewed view on alcohol. I cannot tell who has a problem and who doesn't but it always scares me a bit. My partner is a bartender now and when I go to visit him at work, I know how many drinks people have because I unconsciously count them as they order. I see them rise from the bar and hope against hope that they are not driving.
For me, anyone who NEEDS a drink to relax everyday has a bit of an issue but millions and millions of people would disagree with that wholeheartedly. It's hard to have a healthy perspective. I try hard just to live and let live but fail often.
One of my kids parties regularly and have a difficult time with the concept of alcohol having to be a part of a "good time". Meanwhile, this whole time I am responding my anxiety is gnawing at me.....just a bit....but there just the same.
My parents rarely drank alcohol but when Mum got old and she was on her own she began to acquire a taste for scotch whisky and gradually this became a problem Even in the old folks' home she would try to get younger members of staff to buy her whisky.
Speaking for myself, I never drink in the daytime and most weeks I have two or three alcohol-free days. When I do go to the pub I normally drink no more than four pints of beer. I don't give a bugger about all that "units" nonsense. On Sunday evenings we enjoy a bottle of New Zealand sauvignon blanc with our Sunday dinner.
I believe my drinking is well-controlled and not at all excessive. However, at university, my consumption was much higher and some bad stuff happened in relation to my drinking. I am glad I grew out of that.
I love visiting the pub and quizzing or just chattering with old mates while guzzling beer. It loosens you up and it seems a very natural, sociable thing to do. Sometimes I just have to get out of the house. I get restless and the pub is like a home away from home.
What a great post. We are in our seventies now and remember past Christmas's just as you have described them.
I fear for two of my Grandsons with the amount that they drink. They seem to think that its okay and they will get away with it. But I expect you know only too well that drinkers do not listen or want to know the consequences.
We have bottles of drink in the house bought for us by the kids but very rarely drink it.
Briony
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