My blog was eight years old yesterday. Where has the time gone? It certainly doesn't seem like eight years, since I first felt compelled to get all my anger and frustration out onto internet paper, either boring or entertaining you with the minutiae of my life.
In the early days of the blog, Greg, my alcoholic husband, was still alive of course, knew I was writing it but showed absolutely no interest in reading it. His only interest back then was where the next bottle of whisky was coming from. Two years later he was dead and my blog turned from oozing frustration about his alcoholism to dealing with grief and the aftermath of a relationship with an alcoholic. Things are a lot calmer now and I have come to accept, albeit reluctantly, what happened. He's dead. I've known that for the last six years. I've accepted it. Moved on. I lead a different life now. Which made it all the more surprising, when four weeks ago, following hospital surgery and feeling very vulnerable, I came home to an empty house. It was then that it finally sunk in that he was never going to be here again and it hit me in the face like a sledgehammer.
8 comments:
Happy birthday Addy. What a journey you've been on over the last 8 years. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Yes, thank you so much Addy for your wonderful blog which has helped so many of us through the difficult times that alcoholism brings to families.
Strange how something we know can come out and hit us like that...hope you're working through it again. Happy birthday to the blog...
P.S. I'm cycling from Crystal Palace again in a couple of weeks, so I'll wave!
Very happy birthday Addy - grief has a habit of hitting us like that doesnt it? Sorry to hear that though. Sending hugs and thoughts and wish this whole grief business was easier.
Your blog helped me so much as my husband was declining and ultimately dying. Your "digital house" is full even if your physical one may not be! Hope you are recovering well!
I must have started writing about the same time.
So much has happened over that time...... grand children practically grown up , son divorced & remarried, my fight with cancer, my husband's death last year.
You also have faced up to the most awful things really bravely and although I didn't know your blog existed until quite recently, I find really helpful to read for a whole range of different reasons. Your bravery & determination spur me on.
Maggie x
Happy bloggy birthay Addy. 8 years is a long time but it doesn't feel, to me, that long ago since I read your early posts. I hope all is well after surgery and after so many hard times there are some better days ahead.
I'm sorry the aloneness and loss hit you so hard when you were vulnerable.
I used to read your blog quite faithfully - I think I stepped back shortly after your Greg died; I felt like an intruder kind of. But I have thought of you and wondered how you (and your daughter and mother) were doing. I am glad to read that things are chugging along, and always wish the best for you.
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