I've had one of those revolving door weeks - when Kay returned from a trip to the Far East, was home for a few days, sprinkled her belongings liberally throughout the house turning it into a tip, dumped her laundry and was back out again to the V-Fest music festival weekend.
She'd had a great time in Borneo, once known for its head-hunters. Far from being savages, she found the Malaysians very friendly, eager to help and not too keen on trying to sell you something you didn't really want. They didn't push their tourism on you but were full of suggestions when you needed them. She spent three days in the jungle under her own steam and visited this wonderful place, taking thousands of photos of macaques, proboscis monkeys, orang-utans, toucans, crocodiles and much much more. Although I bit my fingers down to the knuckles as I anticipated her flying from place to place by air or taking 7-hour bus rides and being dumped in the middle of the jungle on a quiet country road, she survived and came home to tell the tale and give me her dirty laundry!
The music festival was less successful. For a start, it had cost half the amount it had cost for a one-way ticket to Borneo. She'd staggered up there with not only her own luggage but our 8-man tent to house her and some of her mates. The main attraction on Saturday (let's just call it a woman with a name like B*****e) was rubbish, keeping them waiting for half an hour before she deigned to put in an appearance and then disappearing for copious costume-changes. Whilst standing shoulder to jammed shoulder in the throng, Kay had had some stranger's urine thrown over her from afar. On returning to the tent on Sunday evening, the girls found someone had decided to trash their tent - they'd jumped on it, bent the poles, made a large hole in the canvas and vomited on it for good measure. The tent was one of our best tents, but it's now been binned.
Now, tell me who the savages are.