21 October 2009

Bedtime story.

Well I am back home for a couple of weeks and back to reality. Greg's promises were not worth the breath he spent on them. He has started drinking again in my absence. He has the cheek to say he needs to buy a small bottle every day to avoid the withdrawal symptoms. I pointed out that when he left hospital two weeks ago he had no withdrawal symptoms at all as the hospital had virtually detoxed him while he was an in-patient, but it seems he drank several large bottles in my absence last week, then saw the error of his ways and by then had to contend with new withdrawal symptoms instead. Stupid man.

There is more.....We are having painter/decorators in our cul-de-sac settlement at the moment painting the outsides of our houses. We pay a monthly contribution to a painting fund and every few years, the painters are instructed to come along to start work. So this month is the due time. While I was away, the painters knocked at the door, Greg hobbled to open it and was told they were about to undercoat our front entrance door. Once undercoated, it needed to remain open for a while to allow the paint to dry. Greg decided to leave the door open over the expected drying time, well into the dark evening hours. A well-meaning neighbour opposite was a little concerned that our front door was wide open and, as there were no lights on in the house, she came across to investigate. Even more worrying, she could hear sounds of a television emenating from the basement kitchen. She enlisted the help of our neighbours next door and asked the husband to enter the house and see if Greg was all right. As fate would have it, Greg had embarked on one of his drinking sprees and was fast asleep on a dining chair in front of the TV with no lights on. The neighbour tried to wake him, but Greg was in one of his almost comotose-like slumbers. He was not to be woken. The neighbours by now were very concerned, knowing that Greg has diabetes, and called an ambulance. Greg came to, to find he was surrounded by paramedics taking his blood pressure and blood-sugar levels. Embarassment on all sides and the neighbours and paramedics quietly withdrew. Greg rang me up at my mother's to relay the tale. My life at present is peppered with one amazing story or another. It just can't get any worse. Can it?

31 comments:

Ellen said...

It is very good to hear you are back in 'blog-land' once more and hope that you had a refreshing stay with your mother - hope she is keeping well. What a welcome home - so sorry that the madness continues. Greg was a very lucky man that it was caring neighbours who spotted the open front door.
Dx

Elaine said...

It's lovely to have you back, but like Ellen said, I'm sorry you had to return to the madness. x

Eliza said...

Sorry you had to come back to that. Glad you are blogging again though.

Gin said...

I don't know what to say. What an awful way to return home. I am so sorry. Hang in there. You have my love, support, and empathy.

Millennium Housewife said...

Great to have you back Rosiero, I can't say whether it could get worse, but i really hope it doesn't. Still walking with you!

Nota Bene said...

Very glad you have returned. There was an inevitability in this; I'm sorry it happened though. Will hope it doesn't get worse

rosiescribble said...

What a shame he could not keep his promise. Must have got a shock to wake up to paramedics, I would imagine.

Nechtan said...

Hi Rosiero,

Its not nice when your private life is opened up for all to see like that, though I do have to say it is good to know how caring your neighbours are. Is Greg embarassed abotu the episode? I'd imagine it is hard for you as you are the on having to do the facing.

I can only hope you make room for you time. With Greg reverting back to old ways I think the priority must be looking after your own well being and not allowing him to pull you both down.

All the best

Nechtan

June said...

Oh boy, what a tale. I wonder what Greg's mood was when he phoned you to tell you the story. I should guess "indignant." Or did he think it was funny?
There's no hiding the facts from the neighbors now, is there?

You already know the answer to your question, I fear.

laurie said...

welcome back. yes, it can get worse. sad to say. i hope it doesn't.

Linda - Gold Coast said...

Lost for words.... Greg just seems as though he has given up on life, so very sad and I really feel for you Rosiero. You are still young and you should be enjoying life not living like this with Greg. Thankfully you have Kay and your Mum♥ Big {{{hugs}}} Linda xoxo

Flowerpot said...

wonder what would have happened if the neighbour hadn't seen him....

June said...

You know this, so I might be beating a dead horse, but...

When Greg came home from the hospital, his system was free of alcohol. His brain was still alcoholic.
He might be stupid, but only because he is, first, an addict.
Addicts don't have any choice in whether or not they use, until something changes and not using becomes as satisfying as using.

nuttycow said...

I'd have to disagree with June's comment Rosiero (and feel free to disagree with *me* in return!)

Addicts do have a choice in whether they use or not. This is why so many people can get over addiction - they take responsibility for their actions and decide not to abuse. However, until Greg makes that decision himself, he won't stop.

You know this and a possibly sanctimonious comment from me on the internet probably doesn't help. Sorry!

x

Robert said...

I was pleased to see a new post from you, rosiero, despite its contents. Nice to have you back "home".

"My life....just can't get any worse. Can it?" Well, yes it can - life is like that - but it might get better, too!

Here's hoping!

Rebel Mother said...

I would say, expect the unexpected!

Thank heaven, there was a neighbour concerned enough to take a look and check up. I think that is a great comfort, that people still care.

I want to comment on the above two comments, but even after 15 years (and counting) it is still painful.

In a nutshell they are both right. But I've been through it when the addict doesnt recover and there is no hope.

However, it is fabulous to hear that a lot do recover and thats what we have to focus on.

Nice to have you back Rosiero

Love RMxx

Grumpy Old Ken said...

Greg must have the constitution of an ox. Did you read my blog re the alcoholics recently. It was not meant to be demeaning but they were amazing people. good luck.

aims said...

I've been away too and had to check the date on this post to see when all this happened.

You know he isn't going to change. He has proven it time and again.

I know you were hoping the neighbors wouldn't know about him but they've probably figured it out a long time ago.

What I'm wondering is how your mother is.

Working Mum said...

What lovely neighbours you have. A bunch of flowers for them, I think.

Hope you had a good time at your mother's and have regrouped ready for your return home. You can't think about whether it will get worse, you just have to take one day at a time. Feel for you. WM x

Daphne Wayne-Bough said...

Your neighbours probably already knew. Remember how this blog started? With a note from the lady across the road if I'm not mistaken. Maybe a good idea to confide in them. That cat's out of the bag now anyway. They'll be on your side. Maybe it would help to have people nearby looking out for you.

Almost American said...

Thank goodness for caring neighbours! As Working Mum said, give them some flowers! There wasn't much they could really do about Greg, but they kept your house safe and you don't want to discourage them from doing that! It's a shame he didn't get carted off to the hospital again - what would that social worker have said then?

PMFAddictionTreatmentCenter said...

As always, thanks for the post.
Glad to hear from you again. I can't say I am surprised.
Hitting Alanon on a regular basis would be helpful. That way, when things like this happen you won't be as surprised.

Rob said...

Rosiero,

I've been following your ups and downs for about a year now with growing wonder and admiration. How you and Kay keep strong through all this amazes me.
Anyway, the reason I read is a professional one, as I work for the Carers Direct website (http://www.nhs.uk/carersdirect). For you and anyone else who is reading, I thought I ought to mention the helpline we have (0808 8020202) which may be another source of advice and information, as well as our safe, reliable discussion forum.
Best of luck.

Fat, frumpy and fifty... said...

CAn we please have a KAY update, l'm itching t learn how she is, wot she ups to, and if she is managing and even enjoying herself..please god!

Debbie said...

Bless your heart. What a mess. I am so sorry you are going through all of this.

Gill - That British Woman said...

As I have said before, you have the patience of a Saint..........{{{HUGS}}}

Gill in Canada

Retiredandcrazy said...

Ouch! Please don't use that phrase "it can't get any worse, can it?". Bad kama my friend. I will have to go into some heavy duty praying for you now!!!!!

tim1leg said...

Rosie I am afraid your suspicions are right it will get worse as its a progressive illness. I hope you attend alanon regularly and have many friends in the fellowship to support you x

Aaron said...

Sorry to hear about Greg. Unfortunately this is what happens when we marry alcoholics. Interventions have a fairly high success rate. Have you tried hiring a professional interventionist?

I'm glad to hear you are stone-cold sober. Best of luck to you. I've provided a link to an intervention place.

http://soberpacificliving.com/services.php

rosiero said...

Thank you all for your caring comments and suggestions. I value them highly and get comfort from them. I am so grateful too for such lovely neighbours and did take time to thank them. To those who asked....my mother is bearing up, considering her arthritic pain, and we enjoyed our time together recently. I hope to return in a few days time to spend even more time with her. Kay is now settling well into university life and coping remarkably well with a heavy medical workload. She has even been out visiting community practices and interviewing patients as part of her studies. It also sounds like she has a busy social life in the many clubs in the town. She is finding the right balance to study hard and play hard!

Furtheron said...

... oh that sounds too familiar

I used to be there long ago