28 May 2017

Grim news and the Grim Reeper.

Image result for grim reaper

When you are young, for most people anyway, thoughts of your own death tend to be far off. It seems so far away as to not be worth thinking about. You have energy and plans which are all-consuming as you work and play your way through the early years. Jobs, relationships, families, exploring new places.... so much to do and so much time stretching ahead to do them in. However, as you get towards the end of your three score years and ten, it is inevitable that those thoughts of your demise start to feature now and again. I am currently 66 going on 50, feel I have many more decades to enjoy, but unfortunately at the moment seem to be surrounded by illness and death, which makes me a little nervous about my own. Funeral invitations seem to outnumber by far any for weddings or christenings. I suppose it is to be expected as you get older and friends of your own age start to come down with things. But I am not liking it. I am certainly not ready to shake off my mortal coil any day soon. I am a spring chicken.

In the last month I have learned that:

  • my husband's best friend recently found out he has bowel cancer and three days after his successful operation to remove it, he had a stroke.  He is slowly recovering. He is 65.
  •  the husband of good friend of mine has been told he has a few days to live. He has kidney failure and associated heart problems. I am trying to buoy up both him and his wife but it is emotionally draining. Admittedly he is 94, but it is still upsetting as he is still very with-it and intelligent (ex-headmaster and WW2 bomber pilot).
  • a member of my wider family has bowel cancer and is about to undergo 6 weeks of chemo and radiotherapy followed by a colostomy. She is in her fifties.
  • an old school friend died two days ago of a muscle wasting disease (MSA).  She was 66, like me. 

I suppose we all hope to go on forever and don't really consider death until it stands up and punches us on the nose, but when it surrounds us and attacks many of those close to us in age within a short timescale, you cannot ignore it.  Of course death can come to those well before their time, as we have witnessed in Manchester recently. Does a time ever come, I wonder, when we accept our time is up and go quietly? Or do we rail against it with all our might until our very last breath?


Shadow said...

I think it's in our nature to fight to our last breath.... For me, I need to know where I'm going, and that 100% conviction in AnythIng I unfortunately don't have, so.... Maybe I should spend my time from now on getting that conviction *grin*

Shadow said...

.....ach, bist du Deutsch? Wie nett

Valerie said...

I celebrated my 83rd the other day and am still not ready to think about leaving this earth. Cheer up, you might have many more years ahead of you.

Maggie May said...

I feel a bit like you. I've lost a good few relatives and friends and I seem to be surrounded by people (some younger than me) who have incurable diseases etc. I suppose the older we get the more likely we are to have these things happen to the ones we love.
Plus we are surrounded by bad things happening.... like Manchester and the news reeling off the details.
We have to live a day at a time and be grateful to be still here!!!!!
I had a saying that I have to remind myself of sometimes......... I am a fighter and I won't give in! I guess we will know when it's time to give up........... or will we!
Maggie x

K Ville said...

There are days when I feel so tired I think I could quite happily just lay down and die. It's only the thought of the mess in the attic that keeps me going - I am determined to clear that up myself and not have some other poor sod having to go through it all!

Yorkshire Pudding said...

I suspect that when they age many people start to lose their grip on reality. Thinking becomes more blurry, former beliefs and opinions lose their sharpness, activity dwindles - all to such an extent that it is hard to say that this is the same person as the younger version we knew. I am 63 but I don't think I will live to a ripe old age. My father died at 65 and my oldest brother at 62. Maybe a relatively young death would be preferable to dementia in a care home as all of one's assets soak away

Flowerpot said...

My husband fought till the very last breath, certainly, and I suspect most of us would. On the other hand, if you're really unwell or unhappy I'm sure death is a release. I'm a bit younger than you but feel much the same as you do. Take care, Addy, hope you have spring in your step again soon. Being surrounded by so much illness is really hard.