02 June 2014


Cartoon from socialmediatoday.com
Cartoon from socialmediatoday.com

Blogland is a funny old place. The country doesn't really exist, of course, but its people certainly do. They are the people you meet through the comment they leave on your blog and the comments you leave on theirs.  I suppose they are the modern equivalent of penpals. 

I remember at the age of 12 getting a French penpal through my school.   Our French teacher had insisted on us all writing our first rather faltering letter in French which was to be forwarded on to a school on the outskirts of Paris. Our London borough was twinned with theirs.  A few weeks later I got a letter back from what was to be my penpal. Her name was Annick. At first, like with most friendships or penpals, the letters were simple, almost awkward. My name is....., my hobbies are....., I live in a...... , my mother is called...., my father works in..... etc. The letter would probably have half a dozen sentences and finish with "avec mes amities" or "best wishes". Gradually, Annick would send me a cutting from a French comic or a French coin or I would send her something with a little English on.  After a year or so of awkward letters to-ing and fro-ing between us, she sent me a music disc of her favourite singer, Johnny Hallyday. I was into the Beatles at that time and I knew then that out tastes were not remotely the same. The relationhip went downhill rapidly from there really.  I think she was angling to visit Britain, so invited me to come and  stay with her in Paris first. I'd already decided in advance it would be dire, so made my excuses and I never heard from her again. My love of German and Germany (and particularly Karl-Heinz, whom I met on a school trip to the Rhineland)  took over at the age of 14 and ever since I've never had a great desire to go anywhere near France. I do genuinely think about Annick once in a blue moon and wonder what she's doing with her life now, but that's as far as it goes.  However, I digress.

In a way, blogging can be compared to a much more civilised form of penpalship. You chose the people who interest you (rather than haphazardy having an address foisted on you by a teacher). You choose their blogs for their style of writing, their philosophies, their type of lifestyle, their topics. You tend to have something in common - they have kids your age or live in your part of the world or may be they live in a place which fascinates you or share your hobbies. What may start as a single comment on their blog, escalates over time into an acquaintance with them, until you feel you have got to know that person quite well. You almost feel like a fly on their wall or a far-flung relative. With the addition of photos you almost know what wallpaper they have in their bedroom and what they've had for supper.

When some bloggers suddenly stop blogging, you become anxious. Are they all right? Simply tired of blogging?  Fallen under a bus? Been kidnapped and held hostage? Sometimes you feel compelled to ask on their now abandoned blog, just in case they were just waiting for someone to appreciate their absence or dial 999. I know of several bloggers I used to read who have over the years disappeared into the night. It's a very strange and rather worrying feeling that they have not surfaced again since. One was a lady with a slimming blog. I wonder whether she overdid things and starved herself.  Or maybe fell down a drain? It can play on your mind.

Of the rest, I have occasionally been tempted to meet up with them, as some bloggers often do at conventions, but have often thought that the mystery was better than the reality. A bit like my husband's penpalship as a teenager. He wrote to a girl in the USA and she was absolutely stunning in the photo she sent him. He was quite besotted and they wrote back and forth avidly until he was able to meet her in person by arranging a holiday to the USA before he went to university. As he stepped off the plane and through the arrival channels, she was there waiting to meet him. It was then that he realised the one and only treasured photo of her was only from the neck up.  Head and shoulders. Passport-size. There she stood before him in reality. Five feet tall and five feet wide. The bubble was well and truly burst. I'm not saying Greg was shallow and that only beauty mattered to him (that was certainly not the case), but sometimes,with the best will in the world, reality does not match with what you imagined or what the penfriend would have you imagine. 

I am sure my elderly mother (who has absolutely no interest in learning how to use a computer) thinks I am completely bonkers spending a fair bit of time on the computer writing to what she imagines are complete strangers, but it is surely no worse than writing a letter and sending it through the post to a penfriend. After all, some people even knowingly write to axe-murderers on death row. Now I am quite sure you are all not THAT bad. But it got me thinking: "Why do we blog or comment on them?"

Twenty years ago, the Internet started to take off on a grand scale. Who could have envisaged then that the world would be as it is now, where you can sit in the comfort of your home and within seconds: 
  • click on a map of somewhere on the other side of the world and travel along its streets;
  •  get a recipe for Chocolate Cheesecake at the click of a mouse;  
  • translate a sentence into Polish; 
  • send a message to someone else in an instant rather than post it in an envelope;
  • look at images of One Direction until you find the right one to print for your bedroom wall; 
  • look up all the Presidents of the United States; 
  • watch a programme you've missed on TV;
  • talk on Skype to your uncle in Outer Mongolia; 
  • or read a blog written by a total stranger. 
All of these things are now possible and no longer weird.  They have become the window to a much wider world where facts, thoughts and ideas can be exchanged instantly and promote our own further education.  Contact with other people through their blogs is just as much part of that education.  I'm off to look up Annick on Facebook. I wonder if she's there and whether she still likes Johnny Hallyday?


Furtheron said...

It is a great place for meeting and getting to know people you'd never normally meet

Nota Bene said...

I remember being given a penpal to write to...I think we exchanged one letter each before it all became too much..glad to have made your acquaintance!

the veg artist said...

I love blogland for many reasons - being able to see how people live in other parts of the world, in other family circumstances and with other challenges. I tend to avoid the super-up-beat ones. Life can't be like that all of the time. Perhaps those bloggers tend to be younger, or insist on wearing rose-coloured specs. Whatever their reasons, they have their readers, and there is such a massive range of blogs we can all find our own 'selection'.
The supportive nature of blog followers is one of the nicest things about it all, and I've seen many instances of love and support propping up people who are actually total strangers.
The internet has, as you, say, a wide range of uses, but establishing a world-wide network of like souls has to be one of the best.

Flowerpot said...

A great post Addy! We were discussing My Fair Lady last night so this morning I was able to find all the songs and send links to them. Fabulous! x

K Ville said...

what an incredibly interseting post considering it's musings really. You had me bouncing around with answers. Sometimes it's like I'm in conversation with your posts!

My favourite penpal was Katja Thun and I'm sure she gave me my love of Germany and all things German.

I met a man once through a 'blind' means and he said 'blimey you look just like your photo' (that was a good thing apparently!) He said so many ladies he met had used years younger or 'thinner' ones. I unfortunatly found this comment more shallow than complementary. We did not meet again!

I read a blog for years, we exchange gifts across the miles and I was thinking about flying to meet her (in America) and then she stopped. Never heard from her again. I think from her tail end posts she had decided it took too much time away from family time but I felt/feel bereaved. Amazing to be feel so connected and yet it clearly be one directional.

Talking One Direction - do you have posters on your wall?!!!

Funny old thing blogging. But then it's a funny old world.

ADDY said...

K-ville - how strange the lady in America dropped her contact.
No, I don't have posters of One Direction on my wall (I'm a bit too old for that malarky) and I don't have an uncle in Outer Mongolia either! Just poetic licence, I'm afraid.

Ellen said...

A wonderful post Addy. As a blogless person who enjoys reading other people's blogs, I must say it feels only fair to comment on posts, as otherwise it feels like all take and no give, if you see what I mean. I have four blogs (including yours) which I have been reading regularly for five or six years now and you are all very real to me. I care very much about how you all are and what is happening in your worlds and these in turn cast reflections upon my own life.