18 December 2012

Merry (although not too merry) Christmas

Hearing some of the stories people at my local Al-Anon meeting tell of their life with an alcoholic makes me appreciate what a better place I am in now. Six years ago I was living with a 24-hour, 7-days a week drinker. I thought I was going crazy living on a merry-go-round I couldn't get off, with no prospect of a solution or salvation. Nobody to help me, no professional body to turn to with any practical means of help and only my (then teenage) daughter to talk to about it.

Almost three years ago, the solution came. A drastic one at that. A death, a funeral, a catharsis. It was not meant to be that my alcoholic would stop drinking and we would ride off into the sunset to start retirement hand-in-hand together. I would have preferred it, but it was not meant to be. Instead I have become stronger, calmer, at peace. Alone, but at peace. I really feel for those at Al-Anon and elsewhere who continue to suffer their living nightmares. I want to tell them that peace will come eventually, although maybe at a price.  I have much to be grateful for, not least of which is that I am not living in that hell any more.

I'm building up to that annual crescendo when I collect my mother, welcome back my daughter from uni for a few weeks and pile the house high with enough food to feed the Albert Hall in one sitting. Beds are made, the house is sparkling and the cards all sent to their far-flung destinations. All that remains is to wish you a happy and peaceful Christmas and all the best for the New Year, especially for those still on that nightmare merry-go-round.

Merry Christmas (although hopefully not too merry for some!)


Nota Bene said...

Your last para sounds fabulous...the first two, full of hope for others who are living through what you had to

Flowerpot said...

I wish you the very best of Christmasses Addy and glad you have found peace.

Kelloggs Ville said...

3 years. That has gone so fast from my side of the fence. It's a big price isn't it. Much love.

Anonymous said...

You've come a long way in the last few years, your blog posts have told us that. A very happy Christmas to you, Addy, may it be peaceful.

CJ x

hyperCRYPTICal said...

Have a wonderful Christmas and New Year Addy.

Peace be with you.

Anna :o]

Anonymous said...

It must have felt a slow painful journey to your present place, Addy, but looking back, it seems only yesterday that we were reading of the nightmare you were living in. You must be giving hope and encouragement to your friends, new and old, in Al-Anon. Happy Christmas and a peaceful New Year to you and all your other followers.

Achelois said...

A Happy Christmas Peaceful & Happy New Year.
I never say why your blog means so much to me but I think you probably know which is why I don't need to say.
I just want to thank you for blogging.

Strawberry Jam Anne said...

A Merry Christmas to you too Addy and continuing peace in the coming year. A x

the veg artist said...

Whenever I read of someone attending an Al-Anon meeting I feel a twinge of envy, because, who knows, it might have helped me stay in my marriage.
The trouble is, I live in a very rural area. And I had a very 'public' job. Everywhere I went, I would meet someone I knew. Even if a group had existed in my area, I would not have attended. It would have been equal to putting up a poster "My husband has a problem with alcohol." Even with confidentiality assured, I could not have done it, and, I suspect, neither can a lot of other people out there, who are socially, financially and in lots of other ways, trapped.
Drink can be a massive problem in rural areas. The remote idyll is not always all it is cracked up to be.

Eurodog said...

Happy New Year to you too.