29 July 2008

The Circle Game

While Kay is away on her expedition, I am taking advantage of my relatively free time (ha ha) to visit my mother for two weeks and do some long-awaited chores for her in her house and garden. At the same time I shall get a welcome break from the Alcoholic Daze household and a bit of a change of view, which will help to recharge the batteries. Snoopy will be coming with me too, so Greg will be left to fend on his own (which means he won't, of course). This will not be at all easy for him and he will need to have enough whisky supplies to keep him going while I am away. I shall therefore need to buy 15 bottles of whisky and 400 cigarettes for my absence. I'll leave you to work out the cost, not to mention the look on the shopkeeper's face when I buy them! I also know he will not cook for himself or probably eat at all. I am worried what I shall find on my return, but I need to look after my badly arthritic, housebound mother too, who has to spend most of the time coping alone, and I simply cannot be in two places at once. Sometimes I feel as if I am going round in circles.....cue for a song.

For those of you also going away on a holiday or break - have a good time.
Back soon around mid August!

23 comments:

Fern said...

I hope you enjoy the change of scene and are able to relax a bit and not worry too much about what is happening at home, only Greg can save himself now.
Congratulations to your Mum on her welll deserved medal, hope you two have a little celebration!

Flowerpot said...

I'm sure a break will do you good as long as you don't worry too much about Greg. Take care.

Fat, frumpy and fifty... said...

we all need a break...enjoy!!

l'm a joni fan too, l adore BOTH SIDES NOW..

The Dotterel said...

Enjoy it - you deserve to!

goodbyetoallfat said...

This might be a stupid question, Rosiero, but what would happen if you *didn't* buy the 15 bottles of whisky?

Would Greg end up going out to get it himself?

aims said...

I think looking after your mother is far more important than looking after Greg. Especially since she's had a life full of caring and giving and needs some back. Greg has had a life full of taking and looking after Greg. So let him do it on his own.

When your mother is gone you will think back on all the days you could have spent with her instead of babysitting a drunk.

Take it - and enjoy it to its fullest. You and your mom both deserve it. And make it last as long as possible - if you know what I mean....

Stinking Billy said...

roserio, when you say "15 bottles" I assume they are of the 70cl size. They will surely also be blended rather than single-malt so, unless he is strictly a Bells or a Grouse man, you should try the large 1.5 litre bottles and save some money. The Co-op sells theirs at just over £22, but you can get a similar blend at Morrisons for just under £20. That wont solve your problem, but it should save you a bunch of money over the course of a year.

nuttycow said...

I hope you have a good break - I've just done a bit of back reading of your blog and it sounds like you need some time off.

DogLover said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
DogLover said...

I hope you have a good holiday. This often helps to recharge your batteries and see your life from a different perspective!

But why do you buy Greg his drink? I have met several wives of alcoholics and they all came to the conclusion that they should leave it to the alcoholic to get his own poison, so as not to delay his descent towards his "rock bottom" - hard to do, but a form of "tough love". In all the cases, it proved the right course, as far as I know.

I'm not sure if you've followed up the suggestions others have made - to go to an Al Anon meeting. If not, why not do so while you're away? You'll find nice people there - they'll have faced many of your problems. The head office is on 020 7403 0888 and they'll help you find a group.

Retiredandcrazy said...

Enjoy the rest Rosario. I know what you are going through and believe me alcololics are great survivors so don't worry about Greg.

I have been a member of Al-anon for 34 years and I don't know how I would have survived at times without the help and support of others living with the problem.

I would also suggest that you stop buying the booze for him, let him take responsibility and ultimately reap the consequences of his own drinking.

It is tough love, and take note of that word "love". If you refuse to get his booze with hatred in your heart he will lash out and you will be in the firing line. In al-anon its called "detaching with love".

I urge you to find your nearest meeting to be with people who will understand your situation.

Crystal Jigsaw said...

Hope it all goes well. And do remember to put your feet up occasionally. You're only human and can't be expected to cope with everything.

Take care,
CJ xx

Katherine said...

Take Care of YOU. Hugs, Katherine.

Hadriana's Treasures said...

Have a good rest, Rosiero, sounds as if you need it! Hadriana x

GoneBackSouth said...

Hello. It's tough splitting yourself in two like that. Anyway I hope all goes well at your mum's ... I like the medal!

MoziEsmé said...

Have a great time!

DulwichDivorcee said...

Happy hols, Rosiero, and I hope you and your Mum have some fun!

blogthatmama said...

Have a good time Rosiero and enjoy the break with your Mum. Look forward to reading about it when you get back, blogthatmamax

Strawberry Jam Anne said...

Do hope you can relax during your time away from home Rosiero and enjoy some peace. And congratulations to your Mum on her well earned, long awaited medal. My Mum, now 86, also did war work but did carpentry. A x

Mud in the City said...

I've just found your blog and applaud you for being able to talk so openly about something so personal and difficult. I hope you do get a rest on your break.

Kit Courteney said...

I found your blog today and I've just sat and read the whole thing. I got awarded with - well - an award last week by a fellow blogger and I must now pass it on to those authors whose blogs I enjoy.
I'm passing it to you because I don't think I have ever been so glued to writing of such honesty. If you would like to 'collect' it, you can find it on my blog.
I wish you much happiness in the future,
Kit C :0)

Daphne Wayne-Bough said...

Just read your blog right through from the beginning and can identify with what you are going through. Seen it with my dad, and then my husband (now ex husband). Am not going to offer any commentary or advice, but will pop in now and again to see how you're doing. Hope your break did you good.

DogLover said...

Sorry to come in again.

I have now read your blog from the very beginning. What a time you've had!

I wonder how much effect Greg's drinking has had on Kay. There are groups, especially in London, of "Alateen" - part of Al Anon - which cater for the children of alcoholics, many of whom get dreadfully scarred. A phone call to the Al Anon office will tell you where they are. I do urge you both to make use of these meetings. As Retired and Crazy has revelaed herself as an Al Anon member, I must do so also.

The advice given by the medics to stop drinking gradually is dead right, whatever others may say. "Cold turkey" can lead to hallucinations (DTs, seeing pink elephants, etc) and to a coma. Both are extremely dangerous. What the medics might have added is that gradual withdrawal usually needs support - it requires a major effort by the alcoholic who in any case feels he's alone with his battle.

Please feel free to email me if you wish. I am dunkered@aol.com. I am a man of over 70, whose wife had this awful addiction, so I know a bit about the sort of problems you have. However getting to Al Anon and Alateen meetings is more important!

Best wishes