tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post6597072561720649263..comments2024-03-27T04:35:59.203+00:00Comments on Alcoholic Daze: The Hamster-WheelADDYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01018958238940897902noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post-70435512594830013982010-03-01T13:28:51.582+00:002010-03-01T13:28:51.582+00:00I think online is the way to go ...but hoping the ...I think online is the way to go ...but hoping the detox will sort things out xxDD's Diaryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05398659302311180518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post-82303173727789368172010-02-26T18:37:57.687+00:002010-02-26T18:37:57.687+00:00I know things have moved on and Greg is receiving ...I know things have moved on and Greg is receiving treatment in hospital, but I must just add that I didn't realise he had only ever been to detox and not rehab. No doubt that was at his insistence. The one without the other is virtually useless, of course.<br /><br />My thoughts are with you, Addy, and I hope the outcome you want is achieved.DogLoverhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08790183909033947474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post-67737205586686981342010-02-26T15:10:29.747+00:002010-02-26T15:10:29.747+00:00Thank you for your comments. I have thought of get...Thank you for your comments. I have thought of getting the whisky online before, but even then I would be ashamed for the delivery man to bring a crate of whisky to my door. I am so stupidly self-conscious about these things, I know. I suppose though it WOULD be the lesser of two evils.<br /><br />Any Edge- I am so glad you are managing to stay sober. It takes guts. Long may it stay so for you.<br /><br />elsy/ Strawberry Jam Anne/Kate - thank you.<br /><br />NB - as you say, I am free fom buying at the moment. I just wonder how long for?<br /><br />Kit -Free plane ticket gratefully accepted. LOL. Thanks.<br /><br />Robert - thanks. You've made me feel a lot better already!<br /><br />Nuttycow - Thank you. It's amazing how people I hardly know are rallying round to comfort me. It does help a lot.<br /><br />Doglover- Greg has never done rehab only detox. Rehab would involve a 6-moth stay in an institution and Greg won't even think about it let alone do it. He does not want to be away from home. It is only rehab that addresses why you drink and gets to the psychological bottom of it all. Once Greg has gone through detox, he invarialy goes back to drinking at some point and goes out in the car to buy it himself. He hides it for a long time and then I get suspicious and find the bottles. By then it is usally too late to talk him away from it as he is in the grip of addiction. Greg does not do gradually and he is not an easy person to rationalise with.<br /><br />MH - Love that T-shirt idea.<br /><br />Gill- We now live on a pension, a fraction of what we once earned. As you ask, how do we afford it? With difficulty. Greg has taken out three loans to pay for it so far. I dread to think where the loans will mount to in the future.<br /><br />Working Mum/Elaine/grandmargie/monalisa - Thank you.<br /><br />Nechtan - Thanks. Yes, a lot of mixed emotions here.<br /><br />Aims - good to see you back again. Yes, I think a lot of the problem is that alcohol is so readily available here and with relaxed licensing hours too, people can buy it almost anywhere round the clock.<br /><br />Flowerpot - yes I go to Al-anon. It is good to meet others (nearly all women, interestingly enough) who are in the same boat as I am and it helps to talk about it openly and get things off my chest, but there are thing I am finding difficult to go along with (like the Higher Power bit, for example)<br /><br />Furtheron - I appreciate what you say, as one who has been there yourself. I know many people have got though it and come out the other side. But I also know that only 1 in 10 will actually stay sober. The trouble is that Greg is not one who will always do what others want of him and can be an awkward cuss. He won't even entertain the idea of AA, even tho I have tried Al-anon for me. However, he may now have reached his rock bottom and be more willing to give it a try. Let's hope.ADDYhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01018958238940897902noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post-5940794483742314122010-02-26T12:13:52.322+00:002010-02-26T12:13:52.322+00:00I feel for you.
My wife never has never had to su...I feel for you.<br /><br />My wife never has never had to suffer that indignity yet. I remained a functioning drunk in my bad days and always drank away from home generally. She only enabled me in staying with me - but she loved me and if she had left would it have gone worse and never come back? I don't know.<br /><br />Words of encouragement... difficult. But Greg can do it. 1000s of us have. I did go into rehab but my withdrawals weren't too bad, sweats, shakes odd mad dream but not too bad. I was lucky.<br /><br />But he can do it - it doesn't matter how bad you are - I meet people everyday who were hopeless drunks killing themselves and now clean, sober, reponsible, respectable.<br /><br />Let go with love - is the phrase Al-Anon say I believe. But for you that must be so so hard but what of the alternatives? Hard thinking ahead but maybe it is time for the hamster to leave the wheel and accept that the consequences of you doing that are not your fault - he is the person who is putting himself there.<br /><br />Get him to call 0845 769 7555 he'll only speak to someone who was one day exactly where he is now but now is no longer there.<br /><br />Good luckFurtheronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11903753972242964410noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post-28613749984598108752010-02-26T10:23:35.327+00:002010-02-26T10:23:35.327+00:00What a hellish situation Addy and I do so feel for...What a hellish situation Addy and I do so feel for you. I would suggest ordering online too. Also are you getting any support in the form of Al Anon or AA or whatever? One of my best friends is a recovering alcoholic and she says she would never have got through it without them. If you could talk about your situation it might ease it a little bit.Flowerpothttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14102679179201725732noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post-35249798266277727782010-02-25T23:50:35.015+00:002010-02-25T23:50:35.015+00:00I'm so sorry you are feeling like people are j...I'm so sorry you are feeling like people are judging you and that you have to account for what you do.<br /><br />Here we cannot buy alcohol at a grocery store or convenience store. We must buy it from a liquor store - including beer. Nobody judges anybody as they wait in line - only perhaps on their choice of alcohol preference.<br /><br />Having just come from the States where you can buy it anywhere - it never occurred to me to judge anyone with a load of alcohol on the belt. Why should I? I don't care or think about what goes on in their life no matter who they are or how much they are buying. It is their business and not mine at all. <br /><br />I can see this is wearing you down to the extreme and that is why you are caring so much about what others are thinking. If you have the option of buying online and having it delivered - then go for it - even if it costs more. The drivers won't care - you're paying their wages.<br /><br />Please know - I do not judge you and never will. I only hope that you find bits of happiness here and there in each and every day.aimshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12685252628734838159noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post-84160698147309046752010-02-25T21:46:03.052+00:002010-02-25T21:46:03.052+00:00Hi Addy,
As already said above I would also consi...Hi Addy,<br /><br />As already said above I would also consider buying online. You are in an impossible position but anything that can be done to eleviate your own suffering should be done and that seems, to me, the best way.<br /><br />You buying Greg his drink tells me only one thing and that is that you care. It bust pull you apart inside. You know what its doing to him and you don't want it to continue. But more than that you don't want to see him suffer. I can't begin to imagine what Greg, and you, goes through when the habit is not fed.<br /><br />I hope you find a solution that works. It is a shame that you are left with these dilemmas and preferably they would belong to Greg but I can tell how caring you are so I just hope you can see yourself that your intentions are from the heart.<br /><br />All the best<br /><br />NechtanAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post-1502212955720830892010-02-25T15:45:53.295+00:002010-02-25T15:45:53.295+00:00It is so easy for other people, even family, to ha...It is so easy for other people, even family, to have an opinion on you buying his alcohol and enabling him to drink, but they are not in your position.Monalisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06734693255704664139noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post-84884522471845768602010-02-25T13:35:05.620+00:002010-02-25T13:35:05.620+00:00I'm so sorry that life has dealt so with you. ...I'm so sorry that life has dealt so with you. No judgement here, either. Only prayers.grandmamargiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00794143215201941790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post-73724267857683802812010-02-25T12:02:24.024+00:002010-02-25T12:02:24.024+00:00Big hugs for you. It must be so difficult. x
I of...Big hugs for you. It must be so difficult. x<br /><br />I often go to my little corner shop for basics, and because it's such a trek back up the hill I've been known - on several occasions - to grab a bottle of wine or two at 9 in the morning to drink later in the day. This may go unnoticed in a big supermarket when people buy all their groceries together, but when I'm just buying bread, milk and wine, I get some funny looks and the odd comment. Of course, when it happens, I feel I have to justify myself, and I always walk out wondering what they think of me.<br /><br />Like the others have suggested, online shopping may be the way to go. xElaine Denninghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10640829930815645105noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post-45611173667889832532010-02-25T09:07:58.675+00:002010-02-25T09:07:58.675+00:00I thought about you last week as I bought a bottle...I thought about you last week as I bought a bottle of whisky in a supermarket for my dad's birthday. As it moved along the conveyor belt with my Innocent smoothies and Easter Eggs, I did wonder if anyone was judging me and then thought how it must be for you buying all that whisky for Greg. Funny you should write about it now, but not funny that it is such a trial for you. I was also going to suggest buying on-line. No judgement, just sympathy.Working Mumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16243697047355131343noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post-26057210681019918022010-02-25T01:54:57.301+00:002010-02-25T01:54:57.301+00:00no advise from me either, but to say I am thinking...no advise from me either, but to say I am thinking of you and your family.<br /><br />I do have a question, how on earth can you afford it?<br /><br />Gill in CanadaGill - That British Womanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17456247587052149765noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post-63154620780264481512010-02-24T22:08:35.489+00:002010-02-24T22:08:35.489+00:00What a nightmare you are living in. I can say noth...What a nightmare you are living in. I can say nothing useful, but I am so moved by your description of your life. What a monster is alcohol.Katehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12448831402553298056noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post-27448083106743226722010-02-24T21:04:00.451+00:002010-02-24T21:04:00.451+00:00I'm up there with Robert sweets, an impossible...I'm up there with Robert sweets, an impossible situation that you're just trying to get through as best you can. I really don't think people will notice your whiskey buying, they're too busy watching me blatantly bribing my kids with chocolate, letting them stand in the trolly and stuffing magazines complete with crappy plastic toys in their hands when the above fails.<br />You could get yourself a t shirt printed that says My Husband's An Alcoholic And All He Got Me Is This Lousy Tshirt. Might be a conversation starter? xMillennium Housewifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11828746856608057335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post-13142764982765942302010-02-24T20:49:32.482+00:002010-02-24T20:49:32.482+00:00It certainly is a dilemma Addy. I think I can und...It certainly is a dilemma Addy. I think I can understand how you feel and I too would go along with the suggestions to buy online. It would save your embarrassment, which is unfair to you - you have enough to deal with anyway. Or could you use a "cash and carry" warehouse - that would make it cheaper too. A xStrawberry Jam Annehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13695110960213262472noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post-8421588826907429262010-02-24T18:52:38.889+00:002010-02-24T18:52:38.889+00:00Perhaps you should have re-named yourself "Ha...Perhaps you should have re-named yourself "Hammy" the hamster!<br /><br />I quite understand your feelings when buying Greg his bottles. However, as others have said, probably no one notices or thinks the thoughts you attribute to them.<br /><br />Anyway, it doesn't matter what they think, does it.<br /><br />You have my every sympathy because, as you know, I have been in roughly the same sort of position as you. Luckily I regained my sanity through Al-Anon and my problems are long ago over. But I have to say that I think you missed an opportunity when Greg came out of rehab and wanted to start drinking again. He wanted you to get him his bottles. I feel, rightly or wrongly, that that was the time to refuse. If not, then it was your chance to sit him down at a time when he was (relatively!) sober and agree to get him his drink on condition that you gradually reduced the amount you let him have each day. Indeed, could you not do that now, checking first with the doctor whether there would be any danger to Greg's health?<br /><br />I do understand the stress that this would involve and it is not the ideal, which is for Greg to hit rock bottom and decide for himself that he must quit.<br /><br />Perhaps you could ask your Al-Anon friends what they think of such an idea?DogLoverhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08790183909033947474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post-62363871841230328772010-02-24T18:09:32.776+00:002010-02-24T18:09:32.776+00:00Oh Addy - I can't offer any advice. I can offe...Oh Addy - I can't offer any advice. I can offer my virtual support though. I know it's not much but I hope it let's you know that there are people out there who care for you. I think you're being really strong.nuttycowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10404690160646306404noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post-503472492901729262010-02-24T15:16:28.710+00:002010-02-24T15:16:28.710+00:00Lots of questions!
Firstly, the first alcoholic I...Lots of questions!<br /><br />Firstly, the first alcoholic I met, when I was about 16, was a respected senior bank manager and church organist. He hid his 1 - 2 bottles of vodka habit well. )He was also hiding his homosexuality!) In the years since then, I have met many alcoholics in various stages of their condition (the last one is a recovered one, but still goes to AA because he still needs their support). The entertainment business attracts people with a predisposition for alcohol &/or drug abuse. I have seen both. None of these alcoholics were of the down-and-out type, although a couple subsequently went on to blow all their worldly possessions to buy drink. I don't think the "old" idea of an alcoholic holds much sway nowadays.<br /><br />If I saw someone in front of me in the supermarket with 3 bottles of whiskey, I wouldn't give it a second thought. People are always bulk-buying booze there. It might be a less common occurrence, but most definitely not particularly unusual. I also know wives of drunks. Lots of people feel sorry for them, but they don't judge them in any other way.<br /><br />I know that you enable Greg to feed his addiction. You have no choice, due to his medical condition. He, however, <i>has</i> the choice whether to go on a detox programme or to keep drinking. Imho, he has the right to make that choice. Even if it is slowly killing him. So you are enabling him...? Okay, but you are <b>not</b> <i>encouraging</i> him. There is a huge difference.<br /><br />As you know, I have had my own issues about "enabling" my wife to avoid dealing with her mental health issues.<br /><br />I'm sure that you know that you can get Greg's booze delivered. Cases of booze, if you want. That, at least, would remove one of your problems.<br /><br />You are most definitley in an unenviable situation. Want to know what I think of you? I think that you are doing a superb job in extremely difficult circumstances. I think that Greg doesn't know how lucky he is!Roberthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08210753167984462321noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post-77411521720608949482010-02-24T14:53:05.322+00:002010-02-24T14:53:05.322+00:00At the risk of copying from above, I was also goin...At the risk of copying from above, I was also going to suggest buying it online!<br /><br />I'm not surprised you feel as you do. Part of me wants to give you a big shake and a plane ticket to somewhere warm for ever and part of me understands that you are tied to this situation because you are who you are.<br /><br />I just wish that there was something we could all do to help you. It's most frustrating, so goodness knows how you cope!Kit Courteneyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07211606676705095432noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post-4136026205436433042010-02-24T14:45:18.996+00:002010-02-24T14:45:18.996+00:00mmm..the buying is your point of exposure, and I&#...mmm..the buying is your point of exposure, and I'll bet that no one else notices really - checkout staff have a fairly dull time of it, so anything might cause a comment. It must be so difficult for you - and if you feel bad about it, you'll feel prying judgemental eyes even when there are none...I don't know whether you should or should not be buying the stuff...you're damned if you do, damned if you don't. If he is clinically dependent on alcohol, and the professionals have given up, I don't see that you have much choice.<br /><br />From a simple, practical point of view, perhaps you could order online and have it delivered?<br /><br />For your own sanity, I hope the day that you don't have to buy it may come come sooner rather than later. May you keep the strength that has got you this far.Nota Benehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00969705852180234416noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post-55308480246960513652010-02-24T14:36:52.825+00:002010-02-24T14:36:52.825+00:00my heart goes out to you and not in the least woul...my heart goes out to you and not in the least would i condemn what you do, as you say you really have no choice..........hope this does not appear stupid, but could you not buy online and have it delivered, then at least you would be spared this ordealelsyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10878850503687623060noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post-31365131477207942152010-02-24T13:43:31.254+00:002010-02-24T13:43:31.254+00:00I have no advice, certainly. I doubt you want any...I have no advice, certainly. I doubt you want any from an alcoholic like me. I can only thank you, again and again and again for showing what my life will be if I tip another glass. <br /><br />I believe there is hope for all of us. But I don't believe that hope always translates to fortune. God bless you. And once again, thank you for helping to save my life.Dr24Hourshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10212511946268980294noreply@blogger.com