tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post1682407230615699599..comments2024-03-27T04:35:59.203+00:00Comments on Alcoholic Daze: The lumpADDYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01018958238940897902noreply@blogger.comBlogger31125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post-23633634774806336222010-04-05T12:17:25.711+01:002010-04-05T12:17:25.711+01:00"I just cannot cry."...your time will co..."<i>I just cannot cry.</i>"...your time will come. Probably after the funeral and after everyone has left you to your own devices.<br /><br />Best wishes.Roberthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08210753167984462321noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post-35419510351084266012010-04-04T22:59:53.429+01:002010-04-04T22:59:53.429+01:00Your story is so familiar.
I experienced the same ...Your story is so familiar.<br />I experienced the same story. My alcoholic husband died 11 years ago. I don't think I ever cried for him after his death, but I shed many many tears as he was on the inevitable downward spiral. But once he died, I admit it..... I was relieved that I and my sons wouldn't have to endure the same difficulties in our lives again.<br />Life goes on, and in a better way.Shammickitehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11969803866899076638noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post-28413152997960456522010-04-03T12:20:31.830+01:002010-04-03T12:20:31.830+01:00Thinking of you. xThinking of you. xElaine Denninghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10640829930815645105noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post-91228010393813691282010-04-02T07:12:05.428+01:002010-04-02T07:12:05.428+01:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post-48849088131839275572010-04-02T01:31:55.644+01:002010-04-02T01:31:55.644+01:00There is nothing more to add, nothing I can say, i...There is nothing more to add, nothing I can say, it will all take time. Hugs to you, I'll be thinking of you.Elizahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10810638337124194629noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post-89918909796444473752010-04-01T18:39:03.249+01:002010-04-01T18:39:03.249+01:00I'm sorry I haven't called in to this post...I'm sorry I haven't called in to this post until now. I hope the funeral went well and that you and Kay are starting to rebuild your lives without Greg, but with cherished memories of him before the illness took him from you. WM xWorking Mumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16243697047355131343noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post-10307553033684557752010-04-01T08:58:51.745+01:002010-04-01T08:58:51.745+01:00When I divorced ten years ago, a lot of tears were...When I divorced ten years ago, a lot of tears were shed. Someone said that divorce is worse than death, as there is no body to grieve over ...<br />When the X died two years ago I cried for my children, but not for him (even though we got on well after the divorce) - my grieving was done long ago.<br />Take good care of yourself and Kay and if you can't cry, it doesn't matter - it will happen when it wants to.<br />Louise xAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post-63526720346649082162010-03-30T13:15:09.201+01:002010-03-30T13:15:09.201+01:00When it is all over and there is nothing left to d...When it is all over and there is nothing left to do I am sure that you will cry. Shock and stress can be unpredictable.cheshire wifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13944869219641386387noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post-9318181726339966572010-03-30T10:03:43.786+01:002010-03-30T10:03:43.786+01:00So sorry, Addy, and I do know the feeling of the l...So sorry, Addy, and I do know the feeling of the lump that won't let you cry. Hope that will melt soon and let you grieve.DD's Diaryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05398659302311180518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post-55722362784724198142010-03-29T21:46:01.588+01:002010-03-29T21:46:01.588+01:00I've followed your posts for a while now and a...I've followed your posts for a while now and always lurked, may you and Kay find peace and rejoice in your release and may Greg rest in peace, god bless you allNot sure why I'm herehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15472392515631477278noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post-18920464649603686762010-03-29T18:04:22.236+01:002010-03-29T18:04:22.236+01:00It's a funny old thing, you probably know it i...It's a funny old thing, you probably know it it was a disease like any other that took him, but you may well have to deal with others who see it otherwise. And watching someone dry and shrivel through disease is quite shocking, you build up ways of coping and getting from day to day. For you, maybe this blog. For me, many, many years ago nursing my mother through cancer - it was work, immersed in the work of an alternative therapy. <br /><br />And yes, after it all, emptiness - almost guilt that there was so little grief. And one day, when you least expect it there will be a moment. A point in time when you step through some unseen boundary. No point trying to hurry it or guess what you will feel, but it will give you a touchstone. A rock solid pivot that will crash through the years and give that part of your life to date real feeling and meaning. More, it will let you really remember the good. And it will hurt.<br /><br />For me, even now nearly 30 years on I remember that moment and the raw emotion comes back.<br /><br />Don't think you are wrong, don't think you need to blame yourself, there are endless numbers of us, bonded by this common experience - a read through your comments should show you this clearly. You will need all your inner strength for this, especially after all the fuss has died down. Cope with it whatever way you see fit. <br /><br />My very deepest and sincere condolences to you and your daughter.<br /><br />===<br /><br />And maybe, you would find strangely familiar echoes in the short story by Susan Perabo, Explaining Death to the DogHamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17182921009517833997noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post-69269595339619791812010-03-29T14:33:12.952+01:002010-03-29T14:33:12.952+01:00Sometimes we have no need to cry. But always a ne...Sometimes we have no need to cry. But always a need to move forward. Recollections and momentos may always provide us with a reason to reflect but they too, will help us to make new memories. <br /><br />Take care, CJ xxAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post-29057682933316898712010-03-29T05:34:32.373+01:002010-03-29T05:34:32.373+01:00that lump will dissolve. it will. Something will p...that lump will dissolve. it will. Something will prompt that, but it may be weeks from now. and the prompt may suprise you. My mother couldn't cry for months and months after dad died: suddenly the grief poured out on a ferry across to the isle of Wight. just because he'd have enjoyed the trip. I will be thinking of you Monday xA Mumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03933820566793650208noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post-5229872650792252862010-03-28T20:56:33.545+01:002010-03-28T20:56:33.545+01:00I just want to say that I will be thinking of you ...I just want to say that I will be thinking of you and Kay tomorrow as you honour your dear Greg. Despite his dreadful addiction, Greg must once have been an incredible man to have inspired so much love and loyalty in those close to him. He was blessed with a devoted family, and despite only 'knowing' Greg through your posts, I feel certain that he was aware of this to the end. Be strong. DxEllenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10917542327482001911noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post-64267485190053774462010-03-28T20:33:59.662+01:002010-03-28T20:33:59.662+01:00A day, a week, a month, a year. Keep going, for Ka...A day, a week, a month, a year. Keep going, for Kay's sake. Keep brave, it's early days yet and you have so many 'rooting' for you both.Grumpy Old Kenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17828200865710133059noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post-90344316083626713982010-03-28T00:35:49.224+00:002010-03-28T00:35:49.224+00:00No one says one has to cry to grieve - perhaps not...No one says one has to cry to grieve - perhaps not crying is grieving.<br /><br />I have a feeling that you may be holding on until after Monday.<br /><br />I hope the lump that is stuck eases.<br /><br />You have been so long in a caring role the very pattern of your days have been broken by Greg's passing. Time perhaps will play a role in how your emotions will develop. I think as many have said already much of your grieving has been done already. <br /><br />I can only speak for myself but right now I would possibly be feeling downright angry. <br /><br />I can only say that albeit in a virtual way I am thinking of you and if you come here to write whatever is on your mind I will be reading if not always commenting.<br /><br />After Monday perhaps you will be able to put some of your needs and wants for your life first.<br /><br />Take care.Acheloishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13489197508242501952noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post-91706954079899420522010-03-27T23:13:03.335+00:002010-03-27T23:13:03.335+00:00Addy, like many of your blogging friends I am find...Addy, like many of your blogging friends I am finding it hard to write words to comfort you. I have been thinking of you and Kay and pray that each day you become stronger to face your future without Greg. I know many of us will be thinking of you both on Monday and will hold you close in our heartsā„ ((((hugs)))) Linda xoxoManchester Lass, Now and Thenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04946068658998389838noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post-91656053321381430582010-03-27T11:57:33.878+00:002010-03-27T11:57:33.878+00:00Hi Addy,
I cannot get the right words out for you...Hi Addy,<br /><br />I cannot get the right words out for you...just know that we are all thinking of you and sending you a huge hug. If you feel up to it there are awards for you over at mine. :) Hadriana xx xxHadriana's Treasureshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03740533954842010870noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post-935856888224799072010-03-27T11:35:56.857+00:002010-03-27T11:35:56.857+00:00Hi Addy,
We do all grieve in our own ways. Try to...Hi Addy,<br /><br />We do all grieve in our own ways. Try to think on it too much and it will come when you are ready. I hope in the meantime you are keeping well.<br /><br />All the best<br /><br />NechtanAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post-61941438429925185252010-03-27T11:10:56.529+00:002010-03-27T11:10:56.529+00:00everyone grieves in their own way, there is no rig...everyone grieves in their own way, there is no right or wrong way to do that.<br /><br />I hope Monday goes as well as expected and that you finally find peace. <br /><br />The hard work will begin when it's all over and everyone has gone home and Kay back to University and you are on your own.<br /><br />Just remember we are all here for you.<br /><br />Gill in CanadaGill - That British Womanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17456247587052149765noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post-13255808348734860542010-03-27T03:00:22.582+00:002010-03-27T03:00:22.582+00:00I hope that Greg's funeral will be a celebrati...I hope that Greg's funeral will be a celebration of the good of his life. It seems, though the filter of these last years which were shared with the world here, that so much of the way his life ended was already funereal. As I've written here before, I didn't know Greg, and don't know you Addy, but I wish I had. <br /><br />Greg must have been a fine man, to have inspired so much love and devotion from so intelligent and kind and longsuffering a woman. Too fine a man by far to have gone they way he did, the way we alcoholics do when we cannot steer from drink. And while Greg became a shadow of himself, his portrait was painted in great stripes of colour here, for us. The irridescence of his self, bleached out of his body through alcohol, reborn here with the agonised palette of his beloved wife's words. <br /><br />And even if there were no other goodness to him -- and there was, so manifestly, other goodness to him -- he would have served a fine purpose in this world. A reminder to us all what ravages this disease does, the great men it has brought low, the love ruined, the lives abandoned. Greg's life has rebirthed my own. So many times, I havebeen angry, or hopeless, and I remember how much I have to be greatful for in your story. And I am reminded of the great feats of courage to which the human heart can aspire when I remember how you tell it. The excruciating misery that you bore, Addy, that you shared, with us in this forum, reminds me each day to be courageous in my life, in telling my story. Reminds me that even when I am feeling lost and abandoned, there are people who need to hear from me, as I have needed to hear from you. That humbles me, and inspires me. <br /><br />Your story, Greg's story, recalls to me that God has a purpose for my story. Greg's life reminds me that I am to live my life to God's glory. <br /><br />You have all my love.Dr24Hourshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10212511946268980294noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post-45530097651011067842010-03-26T22:15:31.849+00:002010-03-26T22:15:31.849+00:00Yes you lost Greg years ago, but what you have los...Yes you lost Greg years ago, but what you have lost recently is Hope. When he was alive there was always Hope that he may improve, Hope that he'd give up the whiskey, Hope he'd become a semblance of who he was, Hope that he'd take notice again of the family he loves. Stranger and more impossible things have happened.<br />There are few things that tax us more than the loss of Hope.<br />Here's Hoping for you Rosiero, Hoping and praying and loving. xMillennium Housewifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11828746856608057335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post-898586333013958852010-03-26T19:16:30.682+00:002010-03-26T19:16:30.682+00:00It's hard to know what to say.
I think you are...It's hard to know what to say.<br />I think you are very strong, you must have been to have looked after Greg all that time.<br />I hope you carry on being strong, it will get you through this awful time.Monalisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06734693255704664139noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post-1629649967172613082010-03-26T17:25:00.585+00:002010-03-26T17:25:00.585+00:00I was like that when my dad died Addy - the tears ...I was like that when my dad died Addy - the tears will come but you've got such a complex muddle of emotions going on at the moment. You take care and I'm glad you have people to look after you - let them. Take care xxxFlowerpothttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14102679179201725732noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3978906014166411621.post-74312178932223904932010-03-26T17:19:35.000+00:002010-03-26T17:19:35.000+00:00Does it matter if you can't cry yet?
Your bod...Does it matter if you can't cry yet?<br /><br />Your body and mind are behaving naturally; as they wish to behave.<br /><br />There's nothing wrong with that at all.<br /><br />I hope the funeral goes as well as can be expected.Kit Courteneyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07211606676705095432noreply@blogger.com