When you are really and truly addicted to a substance, it is hard to ignore. No matter how much people tell you you are going to die from it, you cannot see that. You can only see that your body is crying out for more and craves it so much that dying is far less of a problem than the craving. You need it and you need it NOW. (Greg wanted nothing more than to stop drinking but try as he might, he could not, even with professional help. )You know you are hurting the loved ones around you and you gladly want to stop for their sake if not your own, but the craving pushes you on to your next fix.... and the next..... and the next. You lose your family, your friends, your job, your money, your home and you eventually hit rock bottom, where you either claw your way back to recovery or surrender to the grim reaper.
The following is a song written by Rick Hale who has lost a brother to addiction. I think the song and video beautifully encapture what it is like to be an addict or live with an addict. The video contrasts the present with the addict as a child in a family setting. The words are below.....
The muffled sound of old regrets
Burning out like cigarettes
Halfway gone and half to go
Fill the air with darkened haze
And all my empty yesterdays
Have brought me down a deeper low
And I can hardly breath it in
What if there’s no end at all?
How much further can I fall?
Getting higher as my life’s descending
Something’s taken over me
I’m not the man I used to be
And I can’t take it if it’s never-ending
I know it’s hard to understand
You’ve only breathed it second-hand
But never walked inside these shoes
You hope someday I turn around
When I’ve crashed against the ground
And I have nothing left to lose
Trace the marks across my skin
Laying draped around my frame
They tell the story of my sin
But you turn your back and wash your hands of all my shame