07 January 2015
Something happened over the Christmas period that upset me greatly. I don't want to go into detail here but suffice to say it was a shock and it took me best part of ten days to get over the sickening feeling I felt to my very core. It's taken me a good few years to get over Greg's death and feel relaxed about the past events, not so angry, more understanding about the depression he was probably going through and why he had turned to alcohol. But in an instant I was transported back to the old feelings of insecurity, madness and rollercoasters. I had all but forgiven him, missed him even, but suddenly I was so angry again at how he had ruined everything in his wake. It would seem you are never free from the insane hold that the alcoholic has over you, even when they are long departed. I appreciate I am not giving much away for you to understand, but right now, I just want to crawl into my shell and pull the proverbial covers over my head.