18 February 2010

I Just Called To Say I Love You

Forget me not

I heard some shocking news on my dog-walk in the park yesterday. Two weeks ago, a local girl deliberately jumped in front of a commuter train and killed herself. She was 18 years old and had been in the same kindergarten class as Kay. Although Kay changed at the age of 5 to another school for her infant and junior years, we would occasionally bump into this girl around the locality and swap news. Her mother walked her dog in the same park as me and, when our arrivals coincided on rare occasions, we would stop and chat about our girls - both only-children, both bright and clever, both our pride and joy. The story goes that the girl was being bullied at her London university and had just been dumped by her boyfriend. The results of the inquest are still to come.


I hate to think she had nobody to turn to and was so desperate. She was still living at home too. The news is haunting me. It keeps rolling around in large technicolour pictures in my mind, when I make a cup of tea, sit at the computer or walk the dog. The thoughts won't go away. They remind me how tenuous life can be and why we should never stop telling our children (even when they tower above us, however old and grey they get, and despite all the daily chores that pre-occupy us) that we are always there for them in times of trouble and love them very much, no matter what they do or don't do.

11 comments:

Elaine said...

It's so tragic. So desperately sad.

There is a tree in our University grounds which a student hung himself on about ten years ago because he didn't get the grades he wanted/needed. Since then, a few others have followed suit. Now, the tree and surrounding area is not only a shrine to them and a place of rememberance, but also a place students get to hear about pretty soon after arriving here. It's almost a joke...."that's where you go if it all gets too much for you" and I am in no doubt that this will happen again and again. It really unsettles me to think these poor kids have nowhere to turn.

Nechtan said...

Hi Addy,

I can see how the parallels must prey on your mind. Poor girl and what a tragedy for the family. I must say its only since my daughter started school that I have had worrying thoughts not only about bullying but even get ignored to fend for herself or anything else that might make her unhappy. I guess that is natural as a parent and we can only keep an active interest in their day looking for any signs.

It is very sad to hear that someone is so troubled they cannot see a way out. It will leave a lot of people wondering if they could have done something. So sad.

All the best

Nechtan

Nota Bene said...

Poor girl...what a sad waste. You're so right about telling our children we are always there for them

Working Mum said...

How terribly sad. You are so right that we need to tell our children that we will always be there for them, no matter what happens. But then Alexander McQueen killed himself the day before his mother's funeral because he couldn't live without her. So we also need to make sure that our children know that they are strong enough to cope with whatever life throws at them.

Linda said...

That is just so heartbreaking to hear Addy. So very sad. Prayers for all her family and friends who are left behind to cope with this tragic event. Such a young girl with her whole life ahead of her....

Furtheron said...

So very sad.

A guy who I was at college with did the same thing. I didn't know him well but no one saw it coming.

I think today there is so much pressure on young people, exams, exams, more bloody exams, grades, which uni, student loans, etc. etc.

Like you say - very important that parents everywhere just tell them how much they are loved no matter what.

Ellen said...

What dreadfully sad news to receive. My thoughts and prayers go our to that young girl's family. And your words are so wise, our children need to know how very much they are loved and accepted - no matter what.

Millennium Housewife said...

Crikey Rosiero, that's awful, and a good reminder to cuddle our kids...

Strawberry Jam Anne said...

It is very sad Rosiero and I can quite understand how you must feel. It brings to mind a girl my daughter was at school with and had been fairly friendly with too. Sadly, after she had her first baby, she was suffering with post natal depression and she took her own life. Just went for a rest one afternoon whilst her own mother looked after the little boy (then only a few months old) and took an overdose. That news came as my own daughter was preparing for her marriage. They had lost touch after school days but it was still a great sadness, particularly to my daughter. I always try to "be there" for my son and daughter and always tell them I love them each time we say goodbye, whether it is after a visit or just a telephone call.

Footballers Knees said...

That's very sad. As someone else said, its a reminder to give our kids a hug.
X

Crystal Jigsaw said...

How very tragic. I'm not surprised you feel strongly about hearing this news. When we have children the same age it is naturally going to affect us.

CJ xx