23 January 2010

Bacherlor daze

I have just returned from a few days away at my mother's as she had a few hospital/optician's appointments to attend. I did not take the car with me this time, as the weather forecasts had predicted more snow and ice. I did not want to be stranded anywhere en route, so I took the train instead. Because of that, Snoopy could not come with me as I could not lug all his belongings (bed/bowls etc) as well as mine.

Number of days away from home to help my mother: 4
Number of days enjoying myself : 4
Number of days Greg and the animals were left to fend for themselves: 4
Number of essential medical pills consumed by Greg: 0
Amount of food taken from the fridge/freezer in my absence: 0
Number of times Greg got dressed in my absence: 0
Amount of walks Snoopy had in my absence : 0
Number of times Snoopy and the cat were fed: not known
Tax forms which he insisted he was going to complete this week: 0
Number of bottles of whisky consumed: 5*

* hidden around the house before my departure as Greg is clinically dependent on them, but cannot drive or walk to get them himself! Once a day he rang me to ask where the next bottle could be found.


Nota Bene said...

Poor snoopy. Glad you managed four good days.

Fat, frumpy and fifty... said...

Jeez Rosiero! i'm astonished he isn't in a worse state. Poor you. You must be thankful Kay isnt there everyday to see this still.
glad you got a bit of a break, though l bet your mum needed some help too.

Grumpy Old Ken said...

Good heavens, words fail me.

Robert said...

How long do you think Greg can last with this type of lifestyle?

Strawberry Jam Anne said...

Good to kow that at least you and your Mum had 4 good days. Felt sorry for your animals though and you, on your return. You must have been dreading it.

elsy said...

it must be so hard to come home to.....at least you got 4 days, maybe you should do things for yourself more often

Ellen said...

Happy to hear you had 4 good days, but sad that life is such a complicated juggling act at the moment. It won't always be like this and I hope that one day soon things will be better.

DogLover said...

Amused at your game of hiding bottles for Greg! Did you put less and less in each one? Why didn't you hide Snoopy's dinners with them? I suppose Greg might have eaten them!

Sad that you're still on the "enabling" merry-go-round".

aims said...

I too felt sorry for your animals. And for you upon your return.

I'll let Ken's word say the rest because if I get going on Greg I might not be nice.

Nechtan said...

Hi Rosiero,

I do feel for poor snoopy and yourself too. It is good you had 4 good days but I would imagine what you were going back to would have been weighing heavy over that time.

All the best


Crystal Jigsaw said...

Hide and seek the whisky bottle. Staggering.

I'm glad you enjoyed your 4 days with your mum though, you deserved to have some time away.

CJ xx

Gill - That British Woman said...

Can your dh function at all without having a full bottle of whiskey everyday?

Gill in Canada

Maxine said...

I have been folowing your progress for a while but until now have simply lurked on the outside. You seem like such a lovely, sweet woman, Rosiero, but I'm afraid I just don't get it. You have to buy him the whiskey....?

Life is short. Everyone has a choice and I really wish you were strong enough to make another one.To do things differently, for Kay's sake, for dog and cat's sake and for your own sake. There's no non blunt way of saying it. Forgive me.

Sending love and willing you to be strong.

Reasons said...

Not nice to return to. Good for you for getting away though

dulwich divorcee said...

Can he really survive that long without food? Mind you, they did always say the QM was pickled and she lived to 100 .....Oh Rosiero, so sorry. But very glad you had 4 good days x

cheshire wife said...

Perhaps you should go away more often. I get the impression that you were not missed.

Irish Maid said...

I totally agree with Maxine. 'We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand' ( Randy Pausch) Can really recommend the following book 'Notes from a friend' by Anthony Robbins.

I hope 2010 will be the year you 'play a different hand'. Remember you only have the one life.Don't let Greg totally ruin it for you.....

and please don't allow your lovely dog Snoopy to suffer again.He deserves more in return for his loyalty.

Daphne Wayne-Bough said...

Maybe you stay because at least you know what you're dealing with, even if it's unpleasant. Leaving would mean venturing out into the unknown, possibly having to go back to work, re-entering a world you've been away from for too long. A case of the devil you know. Of course, if he dies this will happen anyway, but at least you wouldn't be worrying about how he is on top of that.

And if you left now, he would end up on the streets. And whatever else, he was once your beloved and is still Kay's dad. He's family. And you can't abandon family.

As for buying the booze ... from what you've said before, it's to keep him quiet. At least if he's asleep he's not ranting and raving. He's gone past the stage of kicking it completely, that's pretty obvious.

I'm not really addressing this to you, it's to other people who might think it's easy to just walk away. You have your reasons for staying, whatever any of us think. I had an alcoholic father, but luckily didn't have to live with him, although my stepmother stuck with him for 41 years until he died. I walked out on my alcoholic husband but we didn't have kids, and I had some money behind me. It was relatively easy.

You'll know what to do when the time is right, Rosiero. Meanwhile, courage.

Irish Maid said...

No way would I ( and I am sure no-one else in their right mind would think that either ) think or suggest walking away would be the easy option ..... but sometimes it is better to take the more diffcult route.

But yes. 'courage' Rosiero. I wish you that too.

Mommy said...

I'm happy for the time that you got to spend with your mom, but very sad that things have plummeted for Greg. I've been keeping up with you. Unfortunately, I had to make my blog private because it was made part of the defense discovery in the court proceedings. It's public again, so you can go read and find out how things ended up.

Do You Come with the Car? said...

I don't mean for this to sound harsh, though I'm afraid it is going to:

If you don't care about yourself enough to get out of this toxic situation, at least have enough compassion to spare your animals of this abuse. Not walking, feeding or watering the pets is criminal at worst and inhumane at best. Those beautiful animals have provided you with more love and companionship than Greg has in years, and they deserve better.

rosiero said...

Thank you for all your kind comments. Just to reassure you that the animals wre not neglected. They just did not get fed at their regular times. It's true Snoopy did not get a walk for four days, but it was only four days, and I walked him within 20 minutes of getting home again. I'm going away again in a few days for much longer and you'll be pleased to know Snoopy is coming with me. The cat is her own mistress anyway, so she'll be OK as long as her bowl of dried food is kept topped up. She can get out and back through the catflap!

Hadriana's Treasures said...

Yes. I agree with Grumpy Old Ken! Glad you got some time to yourself though. :)