14 December 2009

Easy Christmas cake

There is still time to make a cake before Christmas and I thought I'd share this highly unusual
recipe with you.


1 bottle of whisky

250 gm butter
1 cup plain flour
4 large eggs
1/2 cup chopped nuts
1 cup brown sugar
1 teasp. baking powder
2 cups dried fruit
1 tablesp. lemon juice


1. Sample whisky to check for quality.

2. Take a large bowl. Check the whisky again to make sure that it is of the highest quality.

3. Turn on the mixer. Beat the butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one spoontea of sugar and beat again.

4. Make sure the whisky is still OK. Cry another cup.

5. Turn off the mixer. Break two leggs, add to the bowl and chuck in the dried fruit. If the fruit gets stuck to the beaters, pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the whisky again to check for tonsisticity.

6. Add two cups of salt, or something - who cares? Check the whisky.

7. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one handful of brown sugar, or whatever colour you can find. Wix mel. Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 180 degrees centi-thingy.

8. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window. Check the whisky.

9. Stagger down to the local supermarket and buy one of their cakes. Pretend you made it yourself. Drink the remaining whisky.

Please do not try this at home!! You have been warned.


Elaine said...

I don't know whether to laugh or cry. A fantastic, bitter-sweet post. Highly imaginative; creatively brilliant; but very sobering.

Happy Bloody Christmas. x

Robert said...

You can substitute brandy for the whiskey. The end result is unaffected...lol.

Your post would have been very funny if I had been unaware of the experiences leading to its creation.

Grumpy Old Ken said...

brilliant. You are still with it in spite of everything.

cheshire wife said...

What a pity, I have made this year's Christmas cake.

Almost American said...

This is one of my favourite recipes (to read)! Glad to see you can still appreciate the humor in it!

I hope you have an uneventful Christmas and get to enjoy having your daughter home from uni for a while.

Nota Bene said...

mmm...yes very funny...is there a slightly bitter taste to thecake though?

Daphne Wayne-Bough said...

Does he know it's Christmas? You and Kay have a nice time and don't worry about him.

Rebel Mother said...

OMG! That was brilliant! Loved it.

You made me have a really good laugh - and I really needed that.

Great Post Rosiero


Nechtan said...

Hi Rosiero,

The post made me laugh too but knowing the situation I can imagine it was far from funny for you. Maybe its a good way to cope though. As someone who thinks too much about their situation I can see great value of taking a different approach to the way you relfect on these episodes.

I wish you all the best for christmas.


one planet said...

oh my goodness ..one bottle .. cant imagine

Strawberry Jam Anne said...

I think you may have saved me Rosiero. I am so behind with Christmas preparations this year, I may have to give this a go! I'll let you know. Cherry Mistmas!