03 December 2008

Playing Detective

While Greg had been in hospital, I had not used his car at all, only mine, and so the battery in his car had gone flat. He seemed very keen to get the car up and running the very minute he came home. He obviously wanted to be independent and not have me ferry him around everywhere. Quite why he so urgently wanted that independence, I was not sure, but was naturally suspicious that it might entail a trip to the shops to get something in a bottle. Never mind all the mail that had piled up in his absence and needed his attention. Never mind concentrating on convalescing. He became almost obsessed with sorting out the blimmin car battery. He was too weak to lift the battery out of the car and had to charge it up in daylight hours from a lead running out of the garage into the open bonnet outside. Obviously, because the electric lead was out in the open, he could not charge it in rainy weather, so the charging took place over several days. As soon as the battery was topped up and he was mobile again, I began to get nervous each time he went out of the house. On his return, I would search his pockets with my gaze to see if they were bottle-shaped. I would hide behind the curtains to watch him get out of his car to see if he tried to hide a bag under the seats. I would follow him around like a hawk, my eyes always one step ahead to see what he might do. I felt like a private detective. I hated doing it but I needed to know. Was he drinking again?

18 comments:

Flowerpot said...

I've lived wiht someone with an alcohol and a drugs problem and I did exactly the same. Love the photo!

DogLover said...

Flowerpot: I was going to ask Rosiero why she "needed to know" whether Greg was drinking again.

When we live with an alcoholic we always check up on them, don't we, because we think we can control the drinking. In the end we learn that we can't!

Retiredandcrazy said...

I lived with the problem too. In AlAnon I learned the Three C's

I didn't CAUSE it,
I couldn't CONTROL it and
I couldn't CURE it.

In an odd way that helped me because I always thought I should be DOING something about it. Instead I let go and got on with my own life. Easier said than done, but it did "let me off the hook" instead of blaming myself all the time.

Look after yourself darling! We are all routing for you.

Fern said...

Love the photo and that your sense of humour is shining through but the suspense is killing me!

Stinking Billy said...

rosiero, my money is on him being one step ahead of you the whole time. But, you can only do your best.

Nota Bene said...

Well Mrs Clouseau, as I'm in harsh mode today:

There's no stopping an addict, so look on the bright side - if he's out and about, you regain some freedom.

If he's not drinking all well and good.

If he is drinking, at least it's not at home (I assume)...and if he's drinking and driving then he'll be picked up and then you might find the courts rather more sympathetic to you than the health authorities have been.

Kit Courteney said...

I'm with Fern!

Strawberry Jam Anne said...

Nothing to add to the previous comments - particularly those of Fern and Nota Bene.

A x

Crystal Jigsaw said...

I would have been exactly the same. You care.

CJ xx

Elaine said...

Oh, I hope not.
But please tell.....

Hadriana's Treasures said...

I do wish we had met so I could compare you to the photo...hopefully another time! Hx

Ellen said...

I'm with Flowerpot and Retiredandcrazy on this. Forewarned is forearmed! Take care. D

ladythinker said...

Retired and Crazy has the right idea - i'm trying to adopt the same attitude even though the problem here isn't due to alcohol.
Take care of yourself . .

Fat, frumpy and fifty... said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Millennium Housewife said...

All those comments Rosiero! I think the three c's are perhaps something that will give you the most freedom? MH

Fat, frumpy and fifty... said...

can you email me? I have lost your last email...I would like to ask you something!
sazfab@gmail.com

rosiero said...

Flowerpot - It is amazing how many alcoholics there are out there.

Doglover - I just need to know, as I am sure he will go back to it. Not knowing would be worse in my opinion.

Retired and Crazy/ Mil Housewife/Ellen- I've been learning about the three Cs with Al-anon. It's true, it makes you feel less involved, so I can detach myself.

Fern/ Kit/SJA/Elaine - update tomorrow, so hope your suspense will be answered!!

Billy - thanks.

Nota Bene - too true.

Hadriana - Lol. I've lost the moustache since this photo was taken (at least I think I have!!)

Crystal/ Ladythinker - Thanks

Fat4Now said...

Found your blog after seeing a comment on a blog im linked to.

Great blog. Will link it if you dont mind ?

Paul