06 October 2008

Telling the school

I was very nervous. I was not comfortable about sharing my private life with the school, particularly to tell them that Kay's father was an alcoholic. It was quite something for me to think it privately: a whole different ballgame to admit it to others. It meant it was real; not a figment of my imagination. Not a nightmare, even. I wondered whether it would make things better for Kay, if the teachers knew, or worse. Would they laugh at her? Pick on her? Pity her? The overriding factor here was surely that THEY thought Kay was not putting in the hours for her A-level work and I wanted to put them straight about why. Not Kay's fault at all. Far from it. I must not lose sight of that. That is what gave me the courage to walk up the entrance steps to the reception and ask to see Mrs Richards, the Head of Sixth Form, with whom I had an appointment. When she appeared, she led me up to her office, chatting as she did so about the fact that the exam season had just started and the school was extra-quiet. Her demeanour also suggested she was not quite sure what my visit was about, as I had not mentioned it in my request for a meeting . Her body language seemed to suggest I might be there to complain about something. I was so nervous, I suppose my body language was saying that I was not looking forward to speaking to her at all. Once inside her office, we sat down and she looked quizzically at me to begin.

I blurted it all out. I had made notes (I'm a great one for lists - I am renowned for them) and I worked my way through the points I had listed. I quickly gave her the background to the last few years. I said I was worried about the effect of Greg's behaviour on Kay's work, about the wrong impression Kay's performance might give the teachers and how it might affect her chances of doing the course she wanted at university. Kay had only ever wanted to do one thing as a career since she was very small and Greg stood in the way of that. I could not forgive him or myself for standing by and doing nothing to stop him, if Kay was not given a fair chance to achieve her dream. My voice ended up getting a bit wobbly and I inevitably ended up crying. I tried not to, but certain bits of my story always set me off. Mrs Richards was very sympathetic. She reassured me I was not the first parent or probably the last to have come to her over this sort of thing. She said she would mention the problem to the teachers who taught Kay and make sure they took this into consideration. She would also mention it to the Head who ought to be kept informed in case she somehow unwittingly put her foot in things when talking to Kay. She also suggested that Kay talk to a counsellor who comes to the school once a week, as this would surely help her.

All in all, as we ended the meeting and returned to the reception some 45 minutes after I had arrived, I felt a lot better about what I had done. In fact, I almost wished I had done it much sooner in the school year, so that the staff would have had more of an inkling. But I also felt very guilty.
About betraying Greg. About what he would say, if he knew what I had done. Not that I was going to tell him yet. Not until after Kay's exams, at least, as I did not want to make things even worse until they were out of the way.

That afternoon, I met Kay from school and we went to the park and sat on the grass. She had known I was going to see Mrs Richards and wanted to know how I had got on. When I had relayed how the meeting went, Kay lay back on the grass and visibly relaxed. Both she and I were pleased that our secret was out in the open now. We felt a great weight had been lifted from our shoulders.We didn't have to pretend any more or watch what we said. Kay now vowed to tell her close circle of friends that evening, as they were meeting up for a girlie night out at a restaurant. I knew that she needed to open up and confide in them, because bottling things up had not been good for her either. Up to now I had always asked her to keep it secret, as people might not understand and because I felt it would betray Greg or destroy our privacy. But things had gone beyond that now. It was about our self-preservation.

15 comments:

working at it said...

I'm sure that was a big step for both of you. I'm glad it made you feel better..that's a sign that it was ok to do. Seems the older I get the more I realize that as people, we are all more alike then we are different. Especially when it comes to the struggles of life. Wishing you the best. I had the same with my dad.

Nota Bene said...

What a pillar of strength to your daughter you are...

aims said...

You are a true and wonderful mother. You put your daughter before yourself and whatever you might feel for Gregg. Bless you.

I can feel the weight of the world rolling off your shoulders with this one Roseiro. Just reaching out and sharing - the hardest thing to do - can bring such incredible results. And - they are always such a surprise. The relief - the tension melting away - of course it brings tears - but all good.

I'm glad you took this step. A mother's love - the strongest thing on earth.

Ellen said...

I can see your strength growing as your story unfolds. I hope this brave steps leads to a journey ending in freedom and happiness for you and Kay.

Millennium Housewife said...

I think it's about time you felt able to do this, the more it is shared the more support can come your way. x

blogthatmama said...

I'm so glad you're sorting things out, all of the conflicting loyalties and emotions must be so difficult to deal with, as well as requiring so much strength. Blogthatmamax

GoneBackSouth said...

You're such a courageous mother - good for you. Nothing to do with Gregg this one, it's all about your daughter's well-being. The school couldn't have helped if they hadn't known.

goodbyetoallfat said...

Hi Rosiero,

I've just caught up with your last two blog entries and see when your blog was born.

I hope that bringing it out into the open at Kay's school and among friends helped alleviate the stress for you both.

It is interesting to see how your story which you started in the past now comes full circle.

Best wishes,
sharon

Crystal Jigsaw said...

I think you are simply caring for your daughter's welfare to have gone through with that meeting.

CJ xx

jeff@sally said...

Thank you for stopping by my blog. I am sorry you and your daughter are struggling so....and sorry for you husband as well. Addiction and alcoholism steal the ture person away and leave and evil shadow in their place. My husband struggles with bipolar and borderline personality disorder and has in the past delt with prescription drug addiction. It hurts to see your children effected by it. God's peace, strength and wisdom upon you dear sister.

Eurodog said...

Please have a look at my last blog entry

nuttycow said...

I'm glad you made that step (and that Kay made the step too) to tell someone else. Bottling up feelings is never a good thing.

It's not just Greg who needs help, you do too. You need help and support to cope with Greg.

Thinking of you and hope all is well.

nappy valley girl said...

Just had a chance to catch up with your blog, Rosiero. You did a really brave and necessary thing here. My mother struggled for years with drink and everyone buried their heads in the sand about it - even today, very few of my friends or relatives know. Why is there such a stigma?

rosiero said...

Thank you all for your supportive comments - they mean so much to me and spur me on.

disa said...

一葉情貼圖片區,情趣用品,情趣,色情漫畫,情色網,情色a片,情色遊戲,85cc成人片,嘟嘟成人網,成人網站,18成人,成人影片,成人交友網,成人貼圖,成人圖片區,成人圖片,成人文章,成人小說,成人光碟,微風成人區,免費成人影片,成人漫畫,成人文學,成人遊戲,成人電影,成人論壇,成人,做愛,aio,情色小說,ut聊天室,ut聊天室,豆豆聊天室,聊天室,尋夢園聊天室,080視訊聊天室,免費視訊聊天,哈啦聊天室,視訊聊天,080聊天室,080苗栗人聊天室,6k聊天室,視訊聊天室,成人聊天室,中部人聊天室,免費視訊,視訊交友,視訊美女,視訊做愛,正妹牆,美女交友,玩美女人,美女,美女寫真,美女遊戲,hi5,hilive,hi5 tv,a383,微風論壇,微風,伊莉,伊莉討論區,伊莉論壇,sogo論壇,台灣論壇,plus論壇,plus,痴漢論壇,維克斯論壇,情色論壇,性愛,性感影片,校園正妹牆,正妹,AV,AV女優,SEX,走光,a片,a片免費看,A漫,h漫,成人漫畫